It's been a whole year and 4 months since I have written. A roller coaster of emotions and unexpected events has taken me away from this blog and all creative outlets, my expression.
An update? Well remember that move that happened in my last post? We ended up moving back. It felt right to do so. We came back as changed people and ended up gaining a lot more than was lost.
So many experiences and memories, some crazily uplifting and some crashing lows. In the end, I feel like we were routed back and our luck has changed for the better. No gain without risk, or so they say. I am grateful for this humbling experience.
I am still processing my life and the events that have led me up to this moment. Thoughts like, "maybe I would be better of if..." and so forth. Let me tell you, if you stay in a mindset like that for very long you will only torment yourself.
I had sat among the rubble and ruins of my life for months. Not knowing if life would shine its light upon my own self destruction. To give me salvation by enveloping me with love and compassion while telling me everything was going to be OK. I waited and it eventually came. I wept tears of gratitude for this miracle.
As I picked myself up, I no longer saw an empire that had fallen by the doings of my own mind. I saw hope, opportunity, and a new beginning. I smiled and for the first time in a long time, I felt compassion for myself. This was the key to unlock the beginnings of my healing journey.
I didn't know how to share my story, let alone know how I was going to get through another day. I wasn't suicidal, but life had become pretty unbearable at times.
Tragedies still exist but it's part of life. I am learning to not let these obstacles block me, but rather help me grow and become a stronger person. In hopes that one day I will be able to reach a hand out to someone else one day and inspire them. So that they remember how truly brave and strong they are too.
On October 10, 2018 it was World Mental Health Day. While this is a beautiful gesture, we should also take this awareness with us everyday. We all know how hard life can be. Let's try to be more compassionate and kind to others. You never know how far one kind word or gesture can do for someone. Think of the last time someone did something that deeply touched your heart. How did it feel? Wouldn't you want to spread that all around? Please do pay it forward. Let us all unite.
Recently, I had a work outing and had the deepest, most lovely conversation with 2 bright lighted individuals. Speaking with them made my spirit rise and become passionate. All we did was talk about things that truly mattered to us. The deep stuff.
I was so inspired by the conversations and their stories that I wanted to express myself and start writing again. They are wonderful souls. I know they also walked away that night moved by our conversation. I dedicate this post to the two of them. Without you, I don't know when I would have written again.
A few individuals have also been encouraging me to write or have taken interest in my writing. Thank you. It truly means a lot to me.
To all of you reading thus far. Thank you for taking the time to do so. It is deeply appreciated. I don't know what this blog will turn into or what kinds of posts I will be writing going forward. But thank you for coming along with me on this journey!
What inspires you? What lifts you up and gives you life?
Much love, always,
SL
