Phoenix Rising

(Dumbledore and Fawkes from Fantastic Beasts - The Crimes of Grindelwald)

The phoenix, to many, represents strength. To be reborn from the ashes is no grand feat. Some will say it's a beautiful transformation while others may even say it's a magical spectacle.

That being said, no one really takes the time to see it from the phoenix's point of view. Which would be the pain and struggle of the actual rebirth process.

We have all had moments of great transition. Moments that have tested us beyond measure, which we have prayed that we would get through.

The tears and pain of the moment, unsure of what the next steps would be. Feeling helpless as the flames engulf you. Smoke suffocating you. It is ominous without any rays of hope or light. Everything seems lost.

As the phoenix withers away from its own internal combustion, it starts to ponder how it got there. Surely there is no God that would smite me this way? What did I do to deserve this grave punishment? What is happening? Is this the end?

The thoughts even more painful and torturous than the engulfing flames. This is it, today I die.

With a final burst of fire, the smoke begins to settle. What is this... did I... survive? Seeing a new body, unfamiliar to my own. Ouf. The pain, it stings. I can't move. I can't see.

HELP! Alas, no one can hear me. Of course. Darkness follows when the remaining embers burn out. Great. God or whatever higher power sure has a terrible sense of humour.

Light begins to softly fill the enclosure with the warmth of an incandescent candle. Wait...is it dawn? Could it be? I can see... just a little. Why is it so painful? Wait a minute... something's wrong. Oh no... Tears start continuously flowing through my eyes like a sad river. 

A sudden realization. I am alone. Where... is... everyone? Where is he... no... no... oh God no... why... no...

Silence.

It hits me... over and over and over again, like a vicious wheel hurdling towards me with the intent to kill without mercy. The thought attacking me again and again: I am alone.

Ahh! Something is blinding me. I slowly drag my scorned body forward. Every inch feels like an eternity. I eventually catch a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror. Wait, who is that? Oh. I realize that the corporeal form is me, not a ghost of my ancient ancestor. However, I don't recognize the image or being reflecting back at me. I am alone.

My body is weak, small, broken, and burned beyond repair. How can I go on? Maybe there's hope... I can die too... I don't deserve to live. Why did I survive? Where is everyone? Why did he leave me alone?

A familiar voice begins to echo in the empty halls. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that. Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. Dark times lie ahead of us and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right. It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

It's Dumbledore. Could it be? I thought you were dead sir. How is this possible? Am I dead too?

"It’s the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more. Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. After all, to the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure."

"You will heal. You will emerge again. You are a phoenix, my love. Phoenixes burst into flame when it is time for them to die and are reborn from the ashes. You will rise again, whereas I cannot. My calling is elsewhere at this time. However, you are not alone. You need only ask and help will be there."

So I live and I must continue to live on. I am not alone, I am reborn.

- SL